"Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change. "
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Haha, Google makes it easy to find quotes for any occasion :-P
I recently (for science?) took a personality test and it spat out the result that, among other things, measure quite a bit on the arrogant side. This proceeded to set off a serious of thoughts on my head, that for whatever reason I feel compelled to write about. Normally this isn't the kind of thing I'd discuss publicly, but since this blog isn't searchable and as far as statistics indicate only a select few of you even read this, I'm going ahead and writing it.
My first reaction to the result was kind of "ya, well, I can see it." I don't think I rank super highly on humility in many cases, and I'm not shy about personal strengths. However, I wonder where the line between arrogance and "honest" self-confidence is drawn, and hence why I liked the quote above.
I think the core problem is that, generally speaking, I've led a relatively successful life. In most things I apply myself to, I do rather well, and various organizations have reinforced the idea that I belong in the top percentages of their organizations (earning Eagle Scout, admission to CMC, scholastic achievements, etc). Obviously not all of these things are solely attributable to personal strengths, and I'll be the first one to admit that an incredibly supportive (and driving) family as well as luck in surrounding myself with similarly successful friends probably has a large portion to do with these things (and of course the whole environmental factors, luck of birth, etc). With that said, even assuming successes I've had are a combination of personal skill and luck, no matter the division, there's still that portion that can be attributed to me, and this combination can be found in every person's life, not just my own; as my decision making class has been teaching me, when comparing things that have identical components (in this case luck) you should ignore them.
Thus, I have a decently high opinion of myself. When I apply myself to something, I usually do well at it. Obviously I'm not successful at everything, and even when I am, I'm not even necessarily top 1, or even top 5 (I've never been nor ever expect to be valedictorian, for instance). I have plenty of friends who outdo me in various areas, whether it's humor, writing skill, artistic ability, or any number of things.
With that said, I don't see any reason not to consider myself skilled just because I'm not the ultimate best at something, since that would be silly.
I guess where all this is going is that despite having a high opinion of myself, I think it's a justifiably high opinion, and at least somewhat realistically grounded. Does this count as arrogance? I would say that arrogance in part comes from being somewhat vain, but I don't think I normally think about stuff like this that often, nor do I feel like I brag a particularly lot (I could be wrong on these? I guess I am in this blog post, but it's a weird exception). Is there an actual difference between high self-confidence and arrogance? If so, is there a clearly definable line, and if so, am I over it? I really don't know, which is why I once again end up writing for a long period on something that's probably pretty trivial overall, but I think it's an interesting question nonetheless.
Thoughts as always are welcome, sorry if this post is a bit more rambly and disorganized than normal, it's a bit late :-P
-HTMC
I think arrogance actually has little to do with one's real-life successes and more to do with how one perceives oneself. Some people accomplish great things but are always disappointed in themselves; some people view every tiny success as proof that the universe revolves around them.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have said you're arrogant, but I can see where other people are coming from if they do; as your blog post does a good job of showing that you do have a fairly high amount of pride and confidence. That's fine, so long as you keep a realistic picture of yours and others' capabilities.
This is a very good point; it's all about perspective, be that your perspective or that of others.
DeleteCS Lewis has a quote somewhere (paraphrasing, too lazy to find the actual quote) that it's unfortunate that people believe that humility consists of pretty women trying to believe they're ugly, and smart men trying to believe they're fools. He viewed it as more a kind of self-forgetfulness, where you could make or do something really excellent and be just as happy with it as if somebody else had done the same thing, and where you spend more time attending to the things you can use your skills and abilities *on* than dwelling on those skills and abilities themselves.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this definition makes quite a bit more sense than the normal one (which you cited above)-- it's bizarre to cite "humility" as a virtue if you have to murder a bunch of other virtues to truthfully possess it.
Good points all :-P
ReplyDelete